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View Crisis ResoucesUnderstand how the pandemic causes experiences of loss and grief, and how to move forward in the face of uncertainty
As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to unfold, communities are looking to build the “next normal.” At the same time, we are individually and collectively dealing with tremendous loss and grief.
The experience of loss is one of the hardest things we can face. It may involve losing a loved one or a friend, a job, a routine, a hobby, or anything else that has left our lives. One of the most distressing things about the pandemic is the amount of loss that many of us need to process.
The way we react to loss is called grief. Grief can affect our emotions, thoughts, behaviour, and even how we feel physically. The way one person experiences grief might be very different from how someone else does. For example, grief reactions can include:
Grief is a normal and natural process after a loss, but can be very painful to work through.
The way we express grief outwardly is called mourning. Mourning can take many forms, depending on the person and even varying among different cultures. Common forms of mourning include crying, and expressing grief through art or writing, or through rituals and religious practices such as prayer.
Grief and mourning can be expressed individually, as a family, and even as a community. How long someone grieves may vary depending on the person’s relationship to their loss.
Grief can be emotionally overwhelming, which may lead us to try to avoid our strong feelings. However, mourning is an important part of processing a loss. When we mourn in a healthy way, we may gradually come to a deeper understanding of what the person or thing we lost meant to us, which helps to eventually restore hope and motivation. In this way we can slowly re-engage in our daily lives – even if it is in a different way than before.
Although grief and mourning are normal responses to loss, for some people they can persist, and may overlap with traumatic experiences and reactions. This can lead to significant and lasting mental health or substance use challenges. If you find that feelings of grief are overwhelming and seem “stuck,” seek professional mental health support (for example, you can ask your doctor for a referral).
You may be experiencing one or more kinds of loss related to the COVID-19 pandemic. Here are some of the things that people are grieving at this time. In many of these situations, uncertainty about how and when the situation will be resolved may complicate the grieving process and make the loss harder to work through than it otherwise would be.
Many people have lost family members, friends or co-workers in recent months, either due to health complications caused by COVID-19 or for other reasons. Because of restrictions related to the pandemic, bereavement may be more complicated than in more usual times. For example, many people have been unable to be with a loved one before or during their death. Thinking of a family member dying alone can lead to intense feelings of guilt, anger and regret.
Similarly, when a person dies, aspects of mourning that are important for healthy coping might currently be unavailable. For example, it may be impossible to hold a funeral in the usual way or receive in-person support from family and friends. As a result, many people have been forced to find new ways to mourn.
Many people have lost their job or income as a result of the pandemic. Restaurants, non-essential retail stores and other businesses have had to shut down, and many also face the risk of closing permanently. As well as the financial strain this is causing, it may also lead us to feel a loss of purpose and identity. For those fortunate enough to still be working, many must work from home and so must adapt to the loss of their usual working environment.
Physical distancing, isolation and quarantine practices mean that some people are at home alone, are unable to hug a loved one, or cannot provide in-person support to others who are grieving. Vacations and time off may have been cancelled or delayed, further limiting the ability to spend quality time with friends and family.
COVID-19 has led to unexpected relationship challenges for many people. New relationships might have broken off because of physical distancing; living in close quarters might have created or increased conflict between couples and among families; separated or divorced parents may be facing extra challenges with co-parenting or sharing custody.
Students may have lost important opportunities, including placements or co-op terms, summer employment to support school expenses, interrupted courses, and cancelled graduations, proms and other celebrations.
People who work in health care may be experiencing the deaths of patients or clients, or even of colleagues, due to COVID-19. Repeated losses of this kind are overwhelming. In addition, because the pandemic response has required health care workers to adapt quickly to new protocols and roles, many may experience a sense of dislocation and loss related to their familiar work practices and environments. Click here to see resources for health care providers.
Currently, most of us are unable to do many of the things we would typically do on a daily, weekly or regular basis. From going to work to spending time with family and friends to enjoying our favourite hobbies and pastimes, many of the routines that give our lives a sense of structure and purpose are unavailable to us. These changes can be hard to accept and may cause a profound sense of loss.
For people with mental health challenges, including substance use problems, the anxiety caused by COVID-19 can be an extra stressor. Despite this, during the pandemic some people may no longer have the same access to professional support as they did before. Those who were seeing a therapist in person may have to adjust to getting care through a virtual platform. Others may not be able to access their previous care at all.
It can be very hard to process and adjust to the sudden and major changes caused by the pandemic response. This kind of experience can cause psychological trauma for some people. Trauma can be experienced in many different ways. It may be especially overwhelming when a person has also experienced trauma in the past, as feelings from the earlier trauma may be brought back by the present situation. If you feel you may be dealing with trauma, please seek professional support. The resources section at the end of this webpage includes some links to trauma supports and resources.
There is a lot of uncertainty about how the pandemic will continue to unfold, which can add to the anxiety we may feel. However, despite not knowing what will happen in the months and even years to come, it is possible to begin to move forward. Healing from the losses COVID-19 has brought does not mean we must simply “accept” everything that has changed. It means looking at areas of our lives where we have experienced loss, and how we can address the loss in a healthy way.
Healing is a process that is unique to each person. It may take a short time for one person and a longer time for another. Here are some suggestions to help you begin:
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